Navigating the Depletion Dilemma: The Story of A Covered Wagon
“If you walk and talk with God, you will never miss the direction to your divine future.”
Israelmore Ayivor
Over the past two years, it seems I have been in a constant state of overwhelm. What I discovered is that after a long period of overwhelm comes depletion.
Have you ever experienced depletion? Are you there right now? Read on.
I met with a spiritual director and explained all the life-changing events I had been through: moving, new construction, loss of my father, unresolved trauma, and creating The Imperfect Journey. It's an extensive list!
She responded, "The image that came to my mind is a covered wagon. I see you on it, but you have lost control of the reigns." Then she asked, "What if you got off and walked instead?"
The image stuck with me. I sat with it for a couple of days. I wrote the following reflection and drew a couple of sketches.
The Covered Wagon
I headed out on the covered wagon, filled with excitement and enthusiasm about the journey ahead. I packed the wagon with the essentials.
I didn't have a route mapped out. I felt my determination would help me find the way.
And so I began.
I imagined all the sights I would see and learning that would take place. The road felt full of possibilities.
It was smooth going at first. Then it got a little bumpy. I didn't exactly know where I was going. I was sure the destination would be big, and bold, and beautiful, so I continued.
Feeling a little lost, I decided to stop and ask for help. A fellow traveler came along and gave me directions. They suggested I needed to add a few more necessities to my load. I agreed, and my new friend joined me at the reigns.
Things were going well.
We approached another traveler who promised to make the ride even better. They said, "What you are carrying is all well and good, but to make this journey the best, you must add what I am offering." I agreed. How could they be wrong? They had traveled this road before and knew the way.
The trail became dry and dusty. I was getting more and more exhausted and overwhelmed. There was no end in sight. I didn't know if we would ever arrive at "the place."
I kept picking up travelers and adding to the wagon. However, I soon realized that I was no longer holding the reigns. I was just a passenger. I wasn't leading the way. I was sitting idly by letting others chart the course.
I was lost.
I was tired.
I was depleted.
I wanted to go back, but that was not an option. I had come so far and wanted to reach the destination.
Then, all of a sudden, I heard a voice say, "What if you get off and walk?"
I questioned, "You mean to abandon the wagon? But what about all the precious cargo? And how will I make it without my new friends and all the essentials and must-haves?"
The voice replied, "I will walk with you and give you all you need for your journey."
"Who are you?" I said. "I've been journeying with all these companions. One after another, they promised their help. They all meant well, but eventually, I was lost, and they were holding the reins. So now I am leary to walk with anyone."
"I am your God, and I am within you. What I give you, no one else can give. With me, you will never be lost. Trusting me means trusting yourself."
I agreed! "Okay, yes, please, let's walk together. Me and you, you and me. You within me. Two of us, but one."
I got off the wagon. I trusted the voice. I trusted my voice.
The path was green and lush. The sun was shining bright. I walked slowly and breathed deeply. I soaked it all in. I realized the long walk ahead was about the journey, not the destination. It wasn't about adding more and more but enjoying what was already present, what was unfolding in front of me.
Then I saw it up in the clouds; there it was, an angel! God's reminder to trust The Way, and I knew I was on the right path.
Friends, losing control of the reins is easy as we head into this busy season. There are so many voices telling us we need more. The constant stream of advice-giving for improving our lives is everywhere. Consider getting off the wagon and walking slowly. It may not be in December, but plan the path you want to take in the New Year.
What is one thing you can let go of? What is one way to slow down? Set the intention! I would love to hear. Click Here to Reply
Walking the Journey with You,
MeganPrayer for December:
Dear God,
Sometimes, I lose control of the reins in my life. I pick up unnecessary baggage. I listen to well-meaning advice and feel it is essential to apply. I become depleted and worn out. Show me a different path. Allow me to simply walk with you. Remind me that trusting you means trusting myself. Let me enjoy the present moment and the gifts unfolding before me. Amen
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