It Starts Here
Between the ages of seven and eighteen, I endured a series of small “t” traumas. It began with my parent’s divorce. After that, my family split apart and kept splintering, leaving me feeling alone, scared, sad, and angry. Being so young, I didn’t know how to live in this broken new world.
Seeds of Faith
My mother modeled a strong trust in God and believed faith could heal all wounds. I believe that, too. Although I know God uses people, therapy, and other tools in the healing process. Growing up, my mom was part of a regular prayer group. Their unshakeable faith made a lifelong impact on me. So, as a child, I found a private place to pray and journal.
Quest for Healing
I felt broken, but I knew God had me in his grip. I had a vivid image of a giant hole in my heart. I was unsure how, but I trusted God would mend that hole someday. Besides being a woman of faith and prayer, my mom filled our home with books and tapes about healing and personal growth. She took us to family counseling. That experience later propelled me to seek therapy for healing, transformation, and wholeness.
New Home, New Challenges
When I was fourteen, we moved from Ohio to Alabama. Moving from the Midwest to the South was a culture shock. However, it was a relief to escape the location of painful memories and find a fresh start. I encountered community, fellowship, and a new kind of faith through involvement with Young Life. Unfortunately, I lost ground during these uncertain teenage years when I became involved in an abusive relationship. Yet, I learned valuable lessons that became part of my imperfect journey.
In the Valley
As a freshman at Auburn University, I met my future husband, and things were going well - until they weren't. My world fell apart sophomore year. Panic attacks and anxiety gripped me and took over. I couldn't attend class and hardly left my house. Although my life felt upside down, prayer, therapy, and community sustained me.
Learning and Growing
I moved to Atlanta, where I trained as a Montessori teacher. Fascinated with child growth and development, I connected my past and current problems.
This link facilitated more healing. However, the hole in my heart was not whole, and my anxiety persisted. In addition, uncovered memories of sexual abuse affected my marriage. As we worked through this new phase of my imperfect journey, my husband continued to be instrumental in my transformation. Eventually, we started a family, which has been one of the most significant sources of healing. Creating a safe and loving home allowed me to experience what I lacked as a child. Yet, I continued to hunger for wholeness.
The Beginning of Lifelong Healing
After many tries, I finally found a therapist who understood my anxiety. She coached me through cognitive behavioral therapy. Therapy, along with medication, helped heal my acute anxiety. Although finding the right therapist seemed elusive, it was worth the effort.
The Journey Continues
At the age of 48, I re-enrolled at Auburn University. I fulfilled my lifelong dream of completing my degree in Human Development and Family Studies. Unfortunately, through my coursework, I encountered constant triggers from the past. But thankfully, I met a therapist trained in trauma therapy, and it was life changing.
Where I’ve Been Featured
The Gratitude Series on the blog: The Uncommon Normal
Going Forward Survivors to Thrivers Blog: Called to Be Vulnerable and Share & What’s Your Story
Carolina Catholic Media Network: Healed and Restored Podcast