June, the New January
“Sometimes we have to begin again right in the middle”
Megan Young
I truly hope June is the new January. How about you?
I started 2023 ready to go! Isn't that always the way? January arrives, and we set intentions and choose a word for the year. We feel inspired and hopeful, imagining endless possibilities. And then, well, life gets in the way. Dammit, life!
I chose the word "enjoy" to be my guide this year. We spent 2022 moving into two new homes, and I was eager to settle in and enjoy some rest, relaxation, and a routine. But life kept showing up at every turn. The challenging, often painful, exhausting, and trying life.
At the beginning of February, my husband's cousin, Sam Workman, a senior PGA tour caddy, passed away. He was 55 years old and in the middle of a career breakthrough. It was heartbreaking. My husband and two sons followed his player, Steve Alker, as they won tournament after tournament. He lived a life of determination and didn't give up on his dream of being a caddy.
The very same week, my father passed away - heartbreak of a different kind. Complicated, to say the least. At the funeral, the pain of my childhood came rushing to the surface. The depth of it caught me off guard. I didn't know where to go with all the baggage. So, I kept myself busy and distracted. I went on a writing retreat and a "bereavement" ski trip. I launched my website and sent out my first newsletter. I met up with friends I hadn't seen in ages. I volunteered myself to facilitate an encouragement group for writers. I started therapy. I trudged through until my body said, "I've had enough."
In April, I had a health scare. Of course, I imagined every worst-case scenario because that's what I do best. Thankfully, it was not what I thought. They didn't come up with a diagnosis or a cause, or a treatment, for that matter. Frustrating. But I took it as a sign that I needed to make some changes. I'm still working on that. Needless to say, my word for the year, "enjoy," has been a little hard to embrace.
Amidst all this, I was reading Kate Bolwer's new book The Lives We Actually Have: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days and the Lenten devotional accompanying it. Her blessing titled, "For the Courage to Try...and the Wisdom to Know When to Stop," jumped off the page and spoke to me, yelled at me, actually. So, I took out my pen and wrote the following reflection based on this quote:
"Blessed are we who are learning how to hope. And how to let go. When to act. And when to stop."
Hope.
Let Go.
Act.
Stop.
I have filled my plate SO full. And then someone came along and added an extra helping I didn't ask for. My plate looks like a mountain, so high and overflowing. It all looked appetizing. I wanted to be able to devour the whole dish. To taste everything. To Learn. To Process. To Do. To Be. That was the HOPE.
But my eyes are bigger than my stomach (oh, my poor stomach). I ate too much. I feel full. Bloated. It's hard to breathe. And so now, I have to pick and choose. What really is worth savoring? What looks delicious? What's worth the bite? I need to decide what to try and what to LET GO.
I have to STOP. Just stop for a goddamn minute and look at the plate. What's on it? Write it all down. Every single piece of delicious-looking food. Every part of the feast. Be curious. Observe. Pause.
Then I need to proceed and ACT in a way that makes sense. How much is realistic to take in without becoming sick?
So here it is, June. I invite you to join me in taking stock. Pause and consider how full is your plate. Can you tidy it up by asking what stays and what goes? What is essential? What do you want to enjoy and savor for the rest of this year?
Choose a word. Set an intention. Begin again.
I say June is the new January!
And life, well, we will just have to roll with it!
Walking the Journey with You,
MeganA Prayer for June:
Dear God,
Sometimes we have to begin again right in the middle. So, will you walk with me as I make a fresh start? Help me take a closer look at what's on my plate. If it's too full, enable me to discern what's essential. Remind me to enjoy and savor the moments that make up each day. And when life shows up, let me turn to you for guidance and strength. Amen
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